


Unfair

by lorenaag



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Romance, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 14:04:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17367239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorenaag/pseuds/lorenaag
Summary: “Why are you calling me?”  He didn’t think it was fair from Sho to call him after so many years, since it was him that decided to end their relationship, and he did that after a night drinking.It wasn’t fair.





	Unfair

**Author's Note:**

> My very first attempt at angst!
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this, I hope you like as well! 
> 
> A huge thank you to my friend Iara! And to Sponge Bob! :P <3 
> 
> This is for my fellow ShoJun stans out there!
> 
> (english is not my first language, so forgive me if there's any mistakes!)
> 
> 19/02/02: made some edits and corrections! :)

 

UNFAIR

Jun woke up with a jump. He was laying on his couch, watching some meaningless tv and drinking some wine when his tiredness from the last couple of weeks forced him to a deep sleep. He grabbed his phone; it was 1AM and the comedian’s tv show he was watching has finished, and some news program was flashing on his tv, brightening up his dark living room. Jun finished his forgotten glass of wine while watching the reporter explaining something about Canada and its prime minister.

Sighing, Jun got up from the sofa, thinking about making some sandwich before going to bed. For once, he decided to stay at home instead of going drinking with his colleagues from work on a Saturday night. Matsumoto Jun was a corporate lawyer that, at the age of 32, decided to open his own law company. He had a few employees, most of them friends from his previous job and a couple of friends from college. Most of their cases was employees versus employer’s lawsuit cases, and, at the beginning, it was difficult to maintain the company with the few cases they had. But now, three years later, Jun has finally established his business.

While Jun was looking for ingredients on his fridge, he listened his phone ringing. Thinking it might be his friends asking him again to go the bar they were, the man went back to the living room, already thinking about faking a sleepy voice just to turn them off. Well, maybe he didn’t even have to fake, he didn’t spoke at all since he got home, considering he is used to talk by himself.

But the name that was flashing on the screen made him forget about his friends, and everything else.

_Sakurai Sho._

It’s been eight years since they broke up. Sho, who was one year older than Jun, and his senpai at college, was Jun’s boyfriend for almost three years after Sho graduated. It was him that supported Jun trough his graduation year, and their break up was Sho’s decision, saying that they were “too different”.

Jun never believed him. Sho’s family was one of the biggest and most famous families in the law business in Japan, and his father, now a respected politician, was one of the most important prosecutors of the country at the time. He couldn’t have a gay son.

When the phone rang for the third time, Jun decided to pick it up. He and Sho had this unspoken rule that it didn’t matter how many times the phone rang, the person calling will always wait for the other to pick. That rule helped them to overcome a lot of fights; Jun being too impatient to keep hearing the phone but didn’t have the heart to put it on silent to ignore it.

“Hello?” Jun asked, a bit hesitant. He now wished his voice wasn’t sleepy.

 _“Jun?”_ Sho’s answer were hesitant as well, but Jun could feel that the man was a bit tipsy. And sad.

“Sho-kun?” it was weird saying this name like this after so many years. They haven’t spoken since the celebration of Jun’s Master’s Degree’s conclusion, when they had too much to drink, and ended up having sex in the closest love hotel near the bar they were. They fought the next day, deciding once and for all to not be together, not even as friends, it was too painful for both. “Has something happened? Are you okay?”

A sigh. A sad laugh.

 _“I don’t know, Jun. I just…”_ A pause. _“I’m glad you picked up the phone.”_

Jun didn’t know what to say. Clearly his ex-boyfriend was drunk, but Jun didn’t know how to react to this phone call. Don’t they say you shouldn’t answer your phone while your ex was calling? Especially when you know he is drunk?

So why wasn’t he turning off the damn thing?

“Why are you calling me?” Jun didn’t want to sound harsh. He didn’t think it was fair from Sho to call him after so many years, since it was him that decided to end their relationship, and he did that after a night drinking. It wasn’t fair. Jun’s heart accelerated.

 _“I don’t even know why I called. I just wanted to hear your voice, I guess… Thank you for not changing your number…_ ” Another laugh.

“Yeah… Sho, really, what’s going on? It’s been years, and…”

_“Did I interrupt something? Were you sleeping or… Were you with… him?”_ Jun’s mouth got dry. 

Two years after he broke up with Sho, Jun started a relationship with a man from his work at the time, Toma. Sho got to know about their relationship through Aiba, a mutual friend he and Jun has. Sho asked Aiba about what Jun was doing at the time, when he and Aiba met unintentionally three years after Sho's and Jun's relationship ended, and their friend, without wanting to - Aiba guaranteed - made a comment about Toma. Jun and Toma’s relationship also ended six months after that, and Jun didn’t engage in any serious relationship ever since.

 Apparently, Sho didn’t know that.

“No… I’m alone, actually.” Jun should lie. He really should. He knew that Sho was probably married with some woman his father set him up, or something close to that. He didn’t bother to look the man’s whereabouts after they broke up, since it was better to not think about Sho at all. His heart couldn’t take the idea of seeing the man of his life walking down the aisle with someone he was sure he didn’t love. Sho was his, and he was Sho’s, and there was nothing that could change that.

Except Sho’s father.

 _“That’s good, I think…”_ Another sigh. Jun was sure that Sho was drunk. _“I’m alone too, you know. In this fucking big ass apartment that does nothing except showing how pathetic I am._ ”

Jun rolled up his eyes. He has dealt with this type of drunk Sho before. The one that thinks he’s the world’s number 1 failure.

“Aren’t you with your wife? What about the kids?” Jun couldn’t hold back his sarcasm. He tried not to think about how, deep down, he also wanted to know about Sho’s current relationship status.

 _“I’m not married anymore, Jun. We divorced, and no, no kids.”_ Sho’s voice was a bit firmer, no sarcasm or lies on sight.

So, Jun was right. Sho did get married, he succumbed to his father’s orders.

Pathetic.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

 _“You shouldn’t be.”_ Jun’s mind went blank. _“She wasn’t the love of my life. None of my girlfriends were. You are.”_

Jun was shaking.

No. Sho can’t say that. Not now. He just _can’t._

“Sho… It’s been eight years since we broke up, you just…”

 _“I know. And I think I’ll always regret that. I should have fought for you. For us.”_ The man’s voice was shaking a bit as well, but Sho just kept talking like his break up with Jun had been only yesterday. Jun tried to hold back his tears.

 _This is your drunk ex-boyfriend talking, Jun, you can’t believe in this. It’s the alcohol._ He couldn’t afford another heartbreak from Sho.

 _“After we broke up, I was miserable. I couldn’t show up to work for days, and my father even sent some of his employees to my house to bring me back to the company. I couldn’t look into his eyes, but I stood there. Like the proper son I am.”_ Sho’s voice became almost a whisper. “ _And then we met again at your party, and… and I could see myself coming back a little. It was like the light was back to my heart. Like you were back to me.”_ Jun couldn’t bear it anymore, but he didn’t turn off the phone. His hand was shaking, but he had to be strong. He wasn’t the same man from eight years ago, who just let his love go out of his house, and his life, taking his heart and his sanity together with him. He fought too hard to let his weakness overcome him again.

Taking a deep breath, one that Sho heard, for sure, Jun just hoped that the shaking stayed in his hands and did not affect his voice.

“Sho, you decided we couldn’t be together anymore. It was you that came to my house and said all those words that I still can hear in my head. It was you. The decision was yours only, and it didn’t matter what I said. I loved you Sho, with all my heart, but you just threw me away… And now, when I’ve finally moved on, you decide to call me and say all this…” His strength left him, and his voice was shaking. His lower lip was trembling, and he took another deep breath, trying to calm himself up. _He’s drunk._ “That’s unfair, don’t you think, senpai?” He paused. Sho didn’t say a thing.

“It’s so unfair. You get drunk, and call me saying that I’m the- “

 _“I’m not drunk, Jun. I’ve stopped drinking alcohol three years ago, along with smoking. I’m sober as hell. Though I kind of thought about drinking again today.”_ Another sad laugh.

Jun froze.

_“You may have thought that I’m drunk because that’s too cliché, huh? Drunk man calls his ex to talk about their days together… But that’s not true. I just can’t take it anymore.”_

Jun was speechless. 

_“You hate me, right? I think you have all the right to do so. I want you to know that I’m sorry, and I love you, Jun. I’ll always will, no matter what happened with us, and no matter what the future holds.”._ Sho stopped speaking but didn’t turn off the phone. He declared his love to Jun without any hesitation or trembling in his voice.

“I’m going to turn off the phone.”

Jun’s heart was pounding in his ears. There were tears on his eyes, and he didn’t ever bother to stop them. His feelings were a mess, he didn’t know if he believed in Sho’s words, and was happy to listen to them, or if he should be angry at Sho for saying all of this after so many years.

 _“If you…”_ Sho said almost desperately, hoping that Jun will listen to him for the last time before ending the call. _“If you think that we still can talk about us, meet me next Saturday at the Blue’s, at 10 AM. We can have some coffee, and… talk.”_ Sho’s hesitance was back, he sounded like he wasn’t initially planning on asking Jun on a date - no, that wasn’t a date. Jun wasn’t planning on going. He won’t be fooled again, Sho being drunk or not.

“Goodbye.” Jun turned off the phone.

\----------------

Sho was nervous. Very nervous. His hands were sweating, and his body felt hotter than it should be since it was a cloudy day.

He didn’t know why he called Jun that day, it was a desperate action in his lowest moment that week. He decided to break ties with his father after enduring so much pressure in both his work and private life. Quitting his job was difficult, but after so many years working on his father’s office, he could find a small, but fulfilling job as a law consultant on an accounting company. The next step was finding a smaller and cheaper house. His life was going to change a lot, but he was tired of following that old man’s rules, and decided to live his life the way he wanted.

With Jun.

He knew the younger was right, it wasn’t fair of Sho deciding to recover their relationship after their bad break up and that after breaking up night they had. But his love for Jun was bigger than him, he never thought about giving it up.

He looked at his watch, it was 09:55AM. Knowing Jun, the younger man won’t be late, if he’s coming.

_He is coming, right?_

Sho looked over at _Blue’s_ ’ entrance. The bakery, situated in front of their old university, was his and Jun’s favorite eating place in the city when they were a couple. They would always come here before classes, and sometimes also after, to drink coffee and eat of one Oh-chan’s, _Blue’s_ ’ owner, sweet breads, the best Sho’s ever eaten.

Sho remembered the first kiss he shared with Jun. It was on a cloudy Saturday like this, and they were sitting at a more reserved table at the _Blue’s_ ’ warm inside. Sho still could recall the nervousness he felt when he saw Jun’s beautiful eyes staring deeply at his, his long lashes closing slowly while Sho was coming closer and their mouths met.

He wondered if Jun still tastes the same.

 “Do you still like your coffee with more milk than it should have?”

Sho turned when he listened to Jun’s voice.

He was smiling.

He was stunning.

On his neck, a necklace with a single purple stone - a gift from Sho’s at their first anniversary.

Sho smiled slowly, pulling his own necklace with a single red stone from his shirt, and said:

“And do you still like your expresso without any pinch of sugar?”

“Of course. That’s how coffee is supposed to be.” Jun smiled even more. “Shall we enter? I can smell Oh-chan’s melon bread just coming out the oven.” The younger man entered the bakery, and Sho’s smiled until his cheeks hurt while following him.

He won’t lose Jun again.


End file.
